Confessions

I have a harder time with the childproof locks in the kitchen cabinets than my baby does.

I often find myself going outside the house feeling like I'm only dressed well enough to go to Walmart or Dollar Tree. If I have to go anywhere other than that I put athletic shoes to try to make it look like the reason I'm dressed so scraggly is because I just worked out. Don't be fooled.

I buy the whole wheat gold fish rather than the regular ones just because it makes me feel less guilty when that is all my kid eats all day.

I'm pretty convinced that it would be easier to mobilize an army than get my kids out the door.

I'm that lady at the grocery store that you can hear all over the store because I'm either yelling at my son to stay by me or am letting my daughter scream at the top of her lungs because I won't let her eat the produce or throw the rest of my purchases out of the cart. You know the lady who is pushing one of the huge car carts with no kids actually sitting in it because I end up holding one child while attempting to track down the other who is running like a crazy man through the store. Oh and the lady who leaves a trail of coupons up and down the aisle. Yes I am THAT woman. I'm sorry if you hate me but I will let you know that I don't want to be there as much as you wish I would leave.

I love coming home to and waking up to a clean house. Unfortunately that doesn't happen anywhere close to as often as I want.

I usually stay up WAY too late just because the time between when the kids go to bed and when I go to bed is ME time and I just can't get enough of it.

I don't cook dinner all that often. Keep in mind I consider it cooking if I have to turn on an oven or stove.

My greatest recent discoveries are that you can get the large smoothie at the mall for just a little more than the small and they'll put it in multiple little cups. The dude at the Target food court will split my $1 bag of popcorn into two bags. My kids only need one happy meal. The little one eats the nuggets and the big one eats the apples. Oh, and I just discovered that they'll also split one cheeseburger-- the baby eats the meat and the boy eats the "cheese sandwich".

I often wonder what people really think about my kids.

I find myself having to say the weirdest things like "We have to keep our pants on during church", "why are you going outside to pee? The bathroom is closer than the backyard", "We don't show that to our friends", "Sweetheart, we don't really stab our friends", "If it's not food, don't put it in your mouth", "E, please don't smash my pots all over the backyard" and many many many other random things I would never have imagined needing to utter.

I went off sugar again today. Things were so much better for me when I didn't eat it for three months at the beginning of the year. Since I started eating sugar again at Easter I've gained back every pound I lost since I had Miss A. AHHHHHHHH. Sugar is like a drug to me- No lie. Be warned that I'm going to be a little moody for the next little while.

I think that's plenty of information for now.